Training to be a Gold Star…The Financial Ramifications

We had excitedly arrived up the night before as planned, and our car was valet parked. We were told however that our hotel was down the road and to be back in the morning ready for a 9am start. Who needs a taxi, we laughed, and decided to walk. Hadn’t we walked all over Europe! We headed off to find it was at least half an hour up and down steep hills. I had worn stupid shoes thinking we were staying at the hotel we were parked at, and was really cold, tired and hungry when we arrived at the hotel. A little surprised we were shown our room, more aptly called a ‘cupboard’, and looked at each other in disbelief. We had to climb from the end to get into bed. It was sooo hot like we’d stepped into an oven, and the shower was over the toilet like a camper van.

I called reception. “We’d like to pay extra to get a better room.” “That’s all there is.” a bored voice told me on the other end. I phoned again. “I can’t get the aircon to go. The switch doesn’t do anything”. “There is no aircon”, he said. “I can’t breathe!” I exclaimed, like a spoiled child. He told me to open the door. “I can’t sleep with the door open!” I replied incredulously. He was getting annoyed, and so was I. I phoned again. “Do you have any fans?” I asked politely. He said he would get one brought up to me and while I stood in the one square metre of floor space waiting with the door open, he arrived, plugged it in and we looked at each other… as the whirring began.

We stood for a few seconds with the fan whirring loudly. “We’re not staying here and we want our money back.” I said, as Gilbert flushed the toilet and came out. “Fine” he said, and we left.

We tried every city hotel and everything was booked, so we walked up hill and down dale, back to our car and headed south. We found a room in a motel in Penrose and said we wanted to see the room first. A key was passed out a tiny window, but it looked like a drug deal was going down with the local gang. We handed the key back without looking and left as the police arrived. Exhausted, we drove home and climbed into bed at midnight after a poached egg. We decided we would leave pretty early and have a fabulous breakfast at the hotel where the conference was.

It turned out a half million people were also making their way into the city at the same time as us, and we spent most of the next two and a half hours stopped at various stages on the motorway, while I wished I had bought my knitting. Arriving and car parked again we were too late for breakfast, so headed to the conference room where everyone had done the introductions and started the ‘lauded’ sales training.

I looked at the sample questions as others read them aloud. I must have looked a little perplexed as the facilitator headed towards me. “What’s the matter Tricia? he asked gently. You look a little confused”. “I guess, I offered, it’s not language I would normally use”. “Oh?”, his eyes opened wider and he tilted his head slightly forward encouraging me to continue. “Well, I don’t think I’ve ever used those words before in my life”. “What words?” he asked, looking at the sample board. “Well to ask someone what are the ‘financial ramifications’, I said, stumbling over the words as I read them aloud. ‘What are the financial ramifications for you as a family?’ I don’t think I’d feel comfortable saying that and I guess I could find my own words, but it’s a bit heavy to ask a customer that, isn’t it?”

“No, no it’s not heavy, he stated, looking back at me, I’m wondering Tricia if you are seeking approval? Do you like to be ‘liked’ and not want to rock the boat Tricia?” I felt very uncomfortable right then as everyone’s eyes centred on me and waited for an answer. He leaned forward towards me and tilted his head in. Lifting his voice even more. “You have to ask yourself what level of commitment you have to become good at your job”, he continued, raising his voice as the rest of the trainees looked on. He came in closer with his voice rising and I began to lean back as he looked like he might climb over the table.

His pasty skin and floppy hair coming over his forehead, his eyes boring into me as he came so close I could almost touch him. I felt like I might begin to cry as I tried to hold my ground and in a shaking voice, said like a seven year old, “I suppose I do like to be liked…. I don’t know!” Helen sensing my distress came in with a reassuring voice. “We don’t want to change you Tricia, we want to help you sell, using our tried and true method.” While my attention was diverted to her, the slimy being slithered back to his central spot and asked if anyone else wanted to contribute to the sample questions. No one did.

At the end he asked us all what level of commitment we were going to give to the selling techniques we had learned. One Hundred and TEN percent!  some answered enthusiastically. When it got to Gilbert he said, “About 80”. Everyone was silent. The trainer looked at Gilbert with steady eyes. I’m not sure he could believe someone would say that. “Eighty per cent! EIGHTY PER CENT!” he repeated louder. “Is that going to cut it Gilbert? I don’t think eighty per cent is going to be good enough. What does everyone say? Is eighty percent good enough?” People looked uncomfortably at each other. “Gilbert, can you give a little more perhaps?” Gilbert looked him straight in the eye.”No, he said self assuredly. We have a lot going on in our business and I will aim to give eighty per cent to this”. “OK”, he answered, nodding. Perhaps seeing he had met a brick wall. “…And what about you Tricia? What are you going to give?” “Hundred percent” I answered, quickly averting my eyes. The day had not made me stronger, more clever, or even more skilled at selling. 

Hundred percent was the correct answer. I do seek approval, and did want to be liked, sooooo. It was a no brainer. I just wanted to get out of there.  That was Day One of our training seminar.We laughed as we headed home but I shuddered thinking of having to go back the next day. We told each other what a dick he was and then all night I had vomiting and diarrhea. We got up at five am, we had planned to beat the traffic but I looked miserably at Gilbert and said “I can’t possibly go”, as I crawled back into bed.

The next promotion I had record sales (for me). They patted themselves and each other on the back and congratulated me for taking all the training on board. “But I’m not really doing anything different”, I offered. ”Oh you must be”, they nodded. “You have made such great strides”. They were full of smiles and continued to ask ‘which things I had done in particular’. “Well I didn’t really use any of the techniques”, I quietly protested. “Yes you must have, they said. You have probably picked up things and are unknowingly using them. You’re doing so well. I’m so proud of you. You’re going to make all your targets!”

Could it be true. Did I turn into one of them? I felt such a fraud. I was selling more but didn’t quite know how. “You have gained confidence”, Helen assured me.

Now we had to have weekly zoom training. Dammit. We were to be ready by our computers at 9am. I had no idea how to start zoom, so had to wait for a young staff member to come in. Up and down the country we all sat in our offices waiting for Katherine with a K and Catherine with a C. Sara with a cold and William who knew A LOT about selling. Pete who didn’t sit still but carried his phone around as he ventured outside to smoke at times. Sandra ate all the way through each session. Chips were the worst. It was disgusting, and Claire who held her phone down low so we got to see up her nostrils for the most part. People answered phone calls and fiddled with their laptops or talked to others as we tried to concentrate over the chatter. We felt like the only diligent learners. We did all our homework on time and waited quietly while the others mucked around. I lamented to Gilbert as we drove home one night. “OMG it’s terrible. They are all like surly teenagers that don’t want to be there. She asks them to read aloud from the text book just so we can get some focus, only to have them refuse or make excuses about not feeling well”.

One week we discussed Goal Setting. Ooooh, I love goal setting. Finally something I’m good at! I sat forward in my seat and hoped she would pick me. But she didn’t. She went round each of them asking what goals they had set personally and for work, explaining that personal goals can drive work goals. I listened intently. I had no work goals whatsoever. OK, I can set some work goals I thought. I sat back a little. Anne shared how she has never set goals… past thinking she’d like to ‘do something‘ and decided she had done that subconsciously so she could never fail. No one would know. “Good on you for evaluating and being honest! You are making such good progress”. Helen gushed.

William told us he had set goals to buy a new car last year and now he has to keep to his targets or he can’t make the HP payments. “Well done!”, everyone enthused. Apparently it helps to have goals that are large, and the secret, I discover, is they must involve money, or they are not really relevant to your sales aims. I thought quietly about my goals. To get my garlic in before the end of June. To finish sorting our family photos. To tidy out cupboards and boxes of half finished projects…Hmmm these are not going to cut the mustard I realise. None of my goals are money related at all. I don’t particularly want a holiday in Rarotonga, I just want to have some days at home. I don’t want a new car. My old one still goes. I sit back even further and thank God Helen doesn’t ask me.

The next promotion I don’t do so well, but we are all told it’s a difficult market as I offer our sales results, eager to hear theirs and see how we compare, but everyone mumbles about it being average and no one gives any numbers. I feel cheated.

The next week we talked about prospecting and cold calling. This was their jam.  I listened as they bragged about how many cold calls they made each day. “What about you, Helen asks me smiling, what’s your challenge Tricia?”  “Well, I don’t understand ‘cold calling’. Do you mean you call people from the phone book?” “No, Helen assures me as everyone smiles at my naivety. It’s not that at all. You can access people’s numbers in lots of different ways”. Her suggestions weren’t unethical, but I squirmed just the same. Only one was possible to me. I stopped short of making a commitment.

The next week my computer dies just as we start and I secretly hope we will miss this session, but Anne gets hers up and running in a jiffy. We’re back on. We discuss positivity and its importance in being a successful sales person. We went around the group, but no one had much to offer. “What about you Tricia? You have had a bit more life experience than the rest of us”. I was old enough to be a Mother, or Grandmother to most of them. “Can you give us some examples perhaps?”

“Well, I offer. We have a person on our team who tends to be very negative and we start our weekly meetings with a reminder to everyone that we need to be ‘solution focused’. That way the negativity drops away as we are looking for solutions as a team.” “Oh that’s a wonderful term. ‘Solution focused’. Helen writes it down. “Now we’ll look at problems you might be having and see if we can be ‘solution focused’ like Tricia says”, and we spend the rest of the time looking at everyone’s problems.

I miss two weeks for one reason or another and we are back into it. This week we are going to talk about our ‘Need for approval’. Our phone rings in the office and I dive for it at the same time as Anne reaches for it. She puts her hand out, gesturing she should take it to free me up for the session, but I’m out of that room before she can blink. I finish the call and slip back into the room. “Ahh you’re back Tricia. Now you have a very high need for approval so maybe you could read us the next passage.” I read it out loud. They are like affirmations I can say aloud each morning. ‘I’m not trying to make friends’. ‘I have enough friends of my own’. ‘I am being a trusted advisor’.

Yes, Helen nods. So can you think of any situations where you have seen your ‘need for approval’ affect your sale? I shake my head miserably and wonder how I can get out of this.

The next session covers ‘self limiting beliefs’ and it appears I have a heap of these. I learn about ‘spontaneous’ buying, where you might see a beautiful new TV and just think Oh I’d love one of those, and just buy it! I shake my head. I would never do that. “Oh, Helen asks, how do you buy then? “Well, if we NEED something, I’d look at all the options, sizes, colours, reputable brands and customer feedback. Probably takes me three months”. I know this is not what she wants to hear. Hmmm, she suggests I practice spontaneous buying. She gives me homework. I’m to buy something spontaneously. She suggests even looking at something big like a boat! Her smile is wide and she’s excited at the prospect and how exhilarated I will feel. I’m horrified. A boat! I hate boats! I think hard about how I’m to do this. The day before our next session I go to Liquor land and spontaneously buy a medium priced Port. It’s delicious. I sip my small glass full and spontaneously think I’ll have a second one…

A year later…We are sent a note that we have a compulsory monthly sales training with the great man himself. I don’t recognise his name but I understand ‘compulsory’. I take a deep breath and log into the ZOOM meeting and am welcomed. A few new faces and the same chewing Sandra, the same boasting William, the same nostrils. This was to be an hour and a half. Then I heard his voice. It sent a chill up my spine. He asked if the ones who were off screen could please come back on. “It’s so much harder to run a session if you can’t see people.” We started and I offered some lame thing as my introduction. I started to feel physically sick as I realised it was the same guy that ran the session all that time ago.

I could hardly concentrate or think as the session moved on. I knew he was going to ask me something. He was going to ask me something soon and what would I say? I looked at my phone sitting in my lap on silent and willed it to ring. It didn’t. I pushed the mute button on my laptop. Now they couldn’t hear me. I took some deep breaths. What the hell should I do? I didn’t want him to ask me anything but it would happen, of course it would happen. I saw a button for the camera and pushed it. Now I was off camera. I felt shaky and almost tearful. They couldn’t see me or hear me, but I could hear them. I could hear him. I pushed the button to close the zoom. I was out. I closed everything, and then I closed the laptop lid. Anne walked in. “Are you alright?” she asked. “Yep, I said. I’ve been naughty”. She looked at me, probably wondering if she wanted to hear or not. I told her what I did. “Good! she said, he’s a wanker”.

We laughed. Later I told Ren how strong those feelings were. How I just couldn’t. I just couldn’t even hear his voice. I felt physically sick and I was taken straight back to that day a couple of years ago where he had a go at me. “Mum, she said gently. That’s a Post Traumatic Stress Response. Your body is telling you to get outt’ve there”.

So I sat right down and wrote a letter and told them about PTSD….how it’s not OK to treat people like that and how I would not be attending any more sessions. How while I think we can push past our natural instincts or fears, I also believe in listening to your body, and mine was definitely telling me it’s not my thing. I am fantastic at a lot of things, but I will never be a gold star sales person…nor do I want to be.