Thursday 24th September – Nothing to do….

Decided to have a rest day after the big walk. We’ve just passed the two thirds point. Day 100 and 52 to go. Did a bit of research on next part of trip. Finished the huge book I’d started a week or so ago and today finished another book I started yesterday on the kindle.

That’s my kindle. I just thought it all looked a bit boring with no colour đŸ™‚
My kindle and I have a love/hate relationship. I much prefer the real thing. The turn of the page, the weight of the book in my hand and all that goes with reading in the old days, but I’d never have been able to read the twenty or more books I’ve read without it. It’s a great travel companion for sure. I hate however how sometimes when I want to go back one page it won’t. I can’t just click back a chapter and refresh my memory on something. Oh I probably can. I know that, but its just not as easy. The stupid idiot of a thing will flick forward seventeen pages when I might want to go back one. Could be the driver? Yeah, it could be….

Warning! A time for a little ‘reflection’. Just that I was thinking today this might be the only time in my life I have nothing to do. Absolutely nothing. It’s so foreign to me, I’m struggling at times with the void. No one calling out to me. No job that should have been completed yesterday, or last week.

As a child we ran through the paddocks, made tree huts and hideaways, tormented younger brothers and sisters and mimicked the older ones. With six brothers and sisters there was always someone to join in with and I was fortunate to be the one right in the middle. No. 4. As a young adult there was schoolwork to complete, new looks to experiment with and friends to engage.

Then Motherhood took everything up a notch from one to five. A house to keep, food to prepare, a garden to plan and implement. Then business involvement added a whole new dimension. I used to think even if I stayed home for a year, I wouldn’t complete all the things I had waiting in the wings for me. If I only had some quiet and time, the things I could do I thought, and here I am now with nothing, NOTHING pressing.

So today I thought I’d be sensible and do what I wished I had time for when I was at home but turns out I have nothing in there to put down on paper.

Here I am, a blank sheet in front of me.
I thought I might do some forward planning for work. Nothing… I thought I might do some planting plans for the garden at home. Nothing… I thought I might write some stories down. Nothing…

Today I have been wandering through a newly discovered side of FACEBOOK that has me tip toeing through other people’s lives. I used to just post and close. Then I started reading and playing videos. Today I found I can look at anyone’s life, and it felt funny and uncomfortable.

As I ponder this I fan my way through the afternoons menopausal heat waves. There’s some more colour for you!

I can’t remember a time like this before. Wake up. Read if you want. Eat if you want. Walk if you want. Catch a bus somewhere amazing… if you want. I think I am brain dead. All this rest and relaxation has put some brain cells into hibernation.

I will buy a sketch pad and a pencil. I can’t believe I didn’t pack that. I’m going to draw. Anything. I’m going to wake up my senses. Open my eyes. The R&R is over. I have so much to do. Wow! I can’t wait now.

Just realised I ate the apple I was going to do my still life with. Hmmmm

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One Response to Thursday 24th September – Nothing to do….

  1. renanopolis says:

    HHahaha so cool mum xxx

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