Boot camp anyone?


I was invited to join a boot camp other day. Are you kidding I said? I started my own private one just yesterday. After finding a scrap of paper when tidying up that Simone had written a list of exercises on, I thought maybe I could do them and I’d lose that last few kilos hanging around. So when I woke I said to myself “Get your FAT LAZY ARSE outta that bed and do some exercises!!!”

“Are you talking to me said Gilbert from the ensuite?” ” No dear, just talking to myself, Just going to do some exercises!”

I put shorts and tee on and made my way down to the family room and peered at the list…50 star jumps…Jeepers, thats a lot I thought. Guided by a very good rule of thumb…’first do no harm’, I decided I should do half of the things on the list. After all this was my first day and away I went, Jump, Jump, Jump, Jump, Hah I thought, I’m so fit, this is going to be a breeze! and I did 30 instead 25 just to show myself how fit I was.

Next on the list was 15 stomach crunches. I’m guessing these are sit ups, so I smugly lie down on the floor and start. Crickey these are not so easy. I did 5. It felt like it might do harm, and I had done extra star jumps after all…

Next on the list is 5 press ups. Hah! These I can do. I flipped over and did 3 and make a mental note to do the women’s kind next time.

Next was 10 Triceps. Hmmm, Ive heard that word before. If I knew where triceps were actually located I maybe could figure out what the heck I should do???? Oh well I’ll just miss those for now. After all I did an extra press up.

Next 10 squats. Ahhh. Uhhhmmm, whats the difference between a lunge and a squat? I’ll just do lunges. Must be the same thing. Crickey talk about burn after 5 each side. Is 5 each side 5, or is it 10? Probably 10 aye.

Next is 20 lunges. So they are different! Damn. Well I already did 10 so move onto next one. Thighs still burning by the way. What nit wit would put both those in together. I must tell Simone about that.

Next is 10 rotating planks. What the flip is a rotating plank? I imagine a log of wood, rotating…Its too stupid to even do, so give that one a miss. Mental note to tell Simone that’s silly as well.

Next is 30 second plank. No idea…I just lie still like a plank for 30 seconds while I contemplate how my thighs are going to feel later.

Next is 10 calf raises. Now I know where my calves are so I just go up and down 5 times. That doesn’t hurt at all. Totally COULD’Ve done 10 but I was being sensible and stopped at the 5.

That was it! I headed back up the stairs and Gilbert coming into the kitchen looked at me with a bit of a grin. “What… finished?” he asks. “Yep, I reply. Just being sensible and not overdoing it” I’m so fit. Im not even sweating! I look up at the clock and make a mental note its been 7 minutes. Gee that didn’t take long.

Who needs to go out to do a boot camp I think as I head to the shower. Wahooo! Im gunna be so skinny soon…

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2 Responses to Boot camp anyone?

  1. Chee says:

    Holy moley mum i haven’t laughed that hard in ages! Annie said, “funny that she changed the plank to just lying there but didn’t half how long she did it for!” Haha! Good work mama.

  2. Chee says:

    Chee cried he laughed so hard!

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